I am officially fantasy kryptonite. Throughout my fantasy career, it seems all my players become injured. Last year, I experienced the worst fantasy basketball season in the history of basketball season. And I don’t mean that in an exaggerated manner. Not like when someone says “Oh man, that’s the hottest girl ever.” Then, twenty minutes later at another bar says “Oh, man that’s the hottest girl ever.” You see, I really did have The … worst … fantasy … basketball … season …. EVER.

I won ZERO weeks. That’s right. None. Nada. Zero. Nil. Noll. Hyna. (Special thanks to google translator). Anyway, I challenge anyone to beat that. Go an entire fantasy basketball season without winning a week. How is that possible? Here is the screen shot of my season results:

You think I'm joking? You think I photoshopped those losses in there? I WISH! With the fifth pick, I selected Gilbert Arenas. He was playing for a contract and I had bought a pair of Gil Zero’s. Championshipppppppp. Wrong. He got hurt. Jermanine O’Neal got hurt. I traded for Kevin Martin and got exactly 3 quarters from him before he tears his groin or something in that body region, causing him to miss nearly the next 2 months. At the end of the year, Wally Sczerbiak was my stud. Bad news bears for me.

This year, I found myself lucky that my friends let me back into the season. I was determined to win at least one week. Once I accomplished that, I could call myself a fantasy player again. I prepped for the draft more than I ever have in the past. During my brothers high school pinning ceremony, I had pages upon pages of statistics and draft strategies. Needless to say, my mother was not pleased. Without boring you with the specifics of the drafts, I feel like I drafted a pretty competitive team. I even got a few “nice pick” comments throughout the draft. I was happy. I even named my team The Redeem Team, to honor the redemption of Team USA. This would be the redemption of Jandro (that’s me).

I won week one. But not without some lost soldiers. Michael Redd, who had given me 11 threes for the week, hurt BOTH ankles when he fell on a midget who doubles as Nate Robinson. Peja Stojakovic went down. Ouch for his ankle as well. That’s ok I said to myself. I had drafted enough scorers and three point shooters that it wouldn’t even matter. In the end, Peja even came back earlier than expected, even though I left him and his six three pointers on the bench as a precaution.

Here is where I start to belive the curse of Jandro. Tony Parker, followed the single-best game of his career due to … drumroll …. A twisted ankle. Welcome to the redeem team Tony. Now, while he gets iced down by Eva Longoria, I get to replace him with Beno Udrih for 2-4 weeks.

The moral of the story is, if you ever wish someone injured, trade him to me or ask me nicely to pick him up. I promise you, that in time, he will get hurt.

Adios amigos, if you need me I’ll be checking the injury reports.